June 2013
most of the time im jk but sometimes im not jk but u think i am
mom, dad, these are my newborn twins. their names are mom and dad. i named them after you. what do you mean ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ aren’t your real names? what the hell? i already named these kids thanks for telling me now
IF YOURE MEAN TO ME I WILL FUCKING SHOW YOU WHAT MEAN IS SO DON’T FUCKING TEST ME
one time in elementary school i got detention and once i got out i called my mom to pick me up and i waited for like 30 minutes before a lady came and she was so happy but then she said “thats not my son!” and i realized i called the wrong number and called a woman whos child is missing
white lips, pale face, choking on my toothpaste
home alone? did you mean time to practice for my broadway debut?